


She Taught Me How to Love

by lin_the_bae_fong



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beaujester Week 2019, Day 4 Resurrection/Revivify, F/F, Temporary Character Death, tw: blood and gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 10:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20006740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lin_the_bae_fong/pseuds/lin_the_bae_fong
Summary: Jester's has a lot of bad luck when it comes to dragons. This time her luck may have really ran out.





	She Taught Me How to Love

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Blood and Gore, Temporary Major Character Death
> 
> Welcome to the angst train, Happy BeauJester Week Day 4
> 
> "Then in my bosom my heart wildly flutters, And, when on thee I gaze never so little, Bereft am I of all power and utterances. My tongue is useless". -Sappho

The Mighty Nein is fighting a dragon again. They’re a little older, a little wiser, and a little stronger since the last time in the ‘Happy Funball’, but...it’s a dragon.

Beau feels like she’d have more success punching through a stone wall than trying to do any real damage to the dragons thick, coppery hide, but the hits are adding up and she can tell its on it’s last legs. Unfortunately, so is everyone else. Caleb’s been up and down and up again at least 3 times, and Fjord once. Yasha is covered in blood, and Beau gets the sense that if she weren’t in such an intense, snarling rage, she probably wouldn’t be up right now either. Nott seems to be doing alright. She's keeping to the shadows and firing her crossbow with deadly precision. Caduceus has just been trying to keep everyone standing.

Jester is not doing well. Beau can see it in the way her shield trembles with her entire arm, the unshed tears in her eyes, the blood on her clothes. There’s a familiar guilt gnawing at Beau’s insides, of last time when she accidentally abandoned her, and she starts circling the dragon to get closer to her girlfriend. 

The dragon sees Beau though, or maybe senses her and suddenly there’s a powerful tail striking her in the stomach and flinging her across the room. Beau rolls to a stop and with trembling fingers pushes herself up onto all fours. There’s blood dripping from her mouth and she doesn’t know if its from something superficial or much deeper, but all she knows is if she takes another hit like that, she’s not going to be able to get back up. She doesn’t really care, at this point all she cares about is-

There’s a gargled cry of pain to Beau’s left, and Beau flinches as she recognizes the crunch of metal between teeth. 

Beau lifts her head and hesitantly looks towards the source of the sound.

Jester's shoulder and torso are caught between the dragon’s teeth. She isn’t moving _why isn't she moving_ , and the dragon, with shards of ice sticking out of its snout, gives Jester a rough shake before throwing her into the nearest wall. For a moment, as the group sees Jester’s unmoving form, everything is silent. 

Then there’s a scream of pure rage. For a moment Beau thinks it’s Yasha, but as her fist connects with the dragon’s eye, _through_ it’s eye, Beau realizes it’s her screaming, and it’s her lightning charged fists that melt the dragon’s brain into goo. There’s acid dripping down her arm and she’s sure it would hurt more if the pain in her chest wasn’t the worst thing she’s ever experienced. 

She knows she’s crying, and as she limps to Jester’s body and pulls it into her lap, she knows she doesn’t _care._ She doesn’t care about the blood still coating the back of her throat, or the acid burning into her skin, or the way her insides feel torn and twisted. No, all she cares about is Jester, the woman she loves, cradled in her arms and _dead._

She hears voices, but they’re far away, like people talking a couple rooms over in an inn. It’s not until she feels a large, calloused hand on her shoulder that she realizes they’re directed at her.

“-her ready for the ritual, Beau.” Yasha tells her. Caduceus is knelt in front of her with his hands outstretched to take Jester. She almost fights him, screams obscenities at him, but she hears him breath a quiet, hitched breath, a _sob_ , and thinks better of it. The fur around his eyes is damp, and dark, and as he carefully pulls Jester away from Beau he gives a very quiet “It’s gonna be ok.”.

Beau doesn’t know if its meant for all of them, or her...or himself. He starts pulling components from his pockets, one of which being a large, finely cut diamond. Beau finally brings herself to look at the rest of the group.

Fjord is clasping his holy symbol to the Wildmother.

Caleb and Nott are sat not too far behind Caduceus, holding each other tightly. 

Yasha is kneeling beside her, that gloved, calloused hand gripped tightly on Beau’s shoulder. Beau turns her head to get a better look at her. Yasha’s warpaint has left black tear tracks down her face to mingle with the blood. She looks...distant, yet hyper-focused at the same time. Like she’s here and somewhere far, far away, and Beau doesn’t have to guess hard where that is. She reaches up and puts her hand over Yasha’s and gives it a little squeeze. Her expression doesn’t change, but Yasha hand squeezes her shoulder back.

The ritual Caduceus is setting up is much more elaborate than the one Jester used for his revival, all that time ago. Caduceus must see the confused expression on her face.

“I didn’t prepare the shorter version of this, today. We have to do it the long way.” He explains, and as he places the diamond at the center of Jester’s chest, he starts to pray.

It is the most exhausting hour Beau has ever experienced. Yasha came back from wherever her mind was trapped about 20 minutes in, and moved to sit with Beau. Their hands were clasped together tightly, and their other hands were clasped with Jester’s cold ones. Every few minutes, when Beau’s heart would start to race and her breathing became harder, Yasha would squeeze her hand and whisper soft assurances in her ear until she could find some semblance of control. 

As Caduceus hour of casting comes to an end, a warm breeze seems to blow through the previously cold chamber, and Beau swears she hears waves on a shore and wind blowing through unseen leaves. The diamond on Jester’s chest shatters into a million pinpoints of twinkling starlight.

“Alright...I need three people to try and convince her to come home.” Caduceus says, and Beau can hear the underlying exhaustion. 

Nott walks up first, and puts a wreath of flowers she’d been weaving for the past hour on her chest. 

“Maybe,” Nott clears her throat, “Maybe, if I’d given you these before the fight, you would’ve been okay. But I want to give them to you now. They’re very pretty, and I know how much you like pretty things. Won’t you wake up, and-and see them? Also if you don’t wake up I absolutely will eat Sprinkle as soon as we get home.”

There’s a small chuckle from each of them, as Nott goes back to sit with Caleb. Yasha gives Beau’s hand another squeeze before leaning forward near Jester’s ear. A piece of the symbol drawn on the floor illuminates with green energy.

“ _Jester,”_ Yasha’s says in melodic Celestial, “ _I know what it is like to lose the ones I love. I know the pain it brings, what it can do to a person, how it can...how it can make them fall. Please, please come back. I know that pain too well, and I don’t want anyone else to know it. Especially Beau…_ ”

Yasha glances up towards Beau with those intense, multicolored eyes.

“ _And I don’t want to go through it again, either_.” Yasha says as she sits back up. She unhooks the symbol of the Stormlord from her belt with a small prayer under her breath, and places it in the center of the Nott’s wreath. Yasha turns to Beau with a small, sad sort of smile. Another piece of the sigil begins to glow.

“All you, Beau.”

Beau inhales sharply and the tears almost threaten to fall again, but she reigns it in. Beau picks Jester’s head up and sets it gently in her lap.

“You are,” Beau’s voice cracks, so she clears her throat and tries again, “You are the brightest god damn ray of sunshine in the world. You are the sun the Mighty Nein revolves around, you give us the support we need to thrive and grow. From the day I was born, I was told I would never be enough. I hated myself, I hated that I wasn’t special, that I didn’t have magic, or powers or a God backing me up…”

Beau brushes Jester’s bangs away from her closed eyes and smiles.

“But you still love me, despite that. Because of that, you always say. Because I’m just a person, and I can punch through a demon’s chest with my bare hands. You taught me to love, Jester. Not just you, which I do with every fiber of my being, but to also love myself.” 

Beau watches her tears patter against Jester’s forehead, and leans down to kiss them away.

“Please, come home. Don’t make me have to bring you home to Marion.” Beau keeps her head there for a moment, pressed against Jester’s own, before sitting up and staring at the symbol near her lover’s feet intensely. She can feel herself holding her breath, and once again Yasha is there holding her hand and squeezing. For a split second, Beau feels another hand on her shoulder and swears she sees a green cloak in her periphery, but when Beau looks in its direction, there’s nothing there. 

The last piece of the arcane symbol glows, and raises from the floor. It grows in diameter and separates into more arcane sigils above Jester’s body, refracting against the shattered diamonds into thousands upon thousands of little prismatic streams. The Mighty Nein watches with bated breath as Jester’s wounds slowly close themselves back up, until all that is left is faint, silver scars. The glowing arcane circles fade away as the diamond dust settles on Jester and the ground around her. 

Jester inhales sharply, and the rest of the group exhales with it. 

“I feel...not great.” Jester says. She starts to sit up but the shifting of items on her chest gives her pause, and she reaches for them. She examines them, and Beau can see the confusion quickly give way to realization.

“Did I…?”

“Yes,” Caduceus answers, “but you’re alright now, and for that I think I can say we are _all_ very grateful.”

Jester looks at Nott, then turns to Beau and Yasha and Beau gets the sense that Jester heard them. She smiles widely, and puts Nott’s flower wreath on her head, careful of her horns. Then, she turns to Yasha and gives her a lingering kiss at the corner of her mouth and hands her back the symbol of the Stormlord. 

“I’m sorry I scared you.” She says. Yasha is a little red in the cheeks, but she’s smiling.

“It’s okay...just don’t do it again.” Yasha only semi-teases. 

Jester laughs and nods before turning her attention to Beau, and immediately pounces on her. She knocks Beau flat on her back, and Beau gives a pained wheeze but Jester is there, warm and alive and _kissing_ her. Beau hears the laughter of her friends (and one unfamiliar, but it doesn’t sound menacing), but she doesn’t care. They can laugh all they want, she’s the one who gets to make out with Jester Lavorre. 

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone is Level 14ish, hence Resurrection rather than revivify, and why Beau can understand Yasha's celestial.


End file.
